hmm. I'm getting kinda twitches in my eyelids. My left eyelid. Scientifically, it's because I'm stressed, which stressed I AM. Non scientifically, zuo ji you xiong, ie left is lucky, right is danger. But! This eyelid has been twitching for a few days now, so when's the lucky coming I rly have no clue.

Well, is it cause I have unresolved issues such that I've become so screwed with human relationships? Is it really me? But I suppose since it's happening to me in bouts yeah? Well, I'm trying to curb it all, really I am, because the issue is not with them, it's really with myself. I guess there's things to learn from shuzhen. I know, jasmine has issues? Now that's a first. Well, technically everyone has issues. So it's not uncommon. Thing is, how do you face these issues? The way you handle it is really what differentiates/changes you I suppose. It's actually pretty strange. Whenever I have been upsetting people lately, I'm really calm. That can mean a few things I've analysed: I have thought it through clearly, their accusations are false and so I'm not bothered, I know what I'm doing, I just cannot be bothered. I don't know, maybe you'd like to give me a few more rationales. hahas. Well, yeahs, maybe it's just a combination of reasons. I don't like to see too far, but they always say this is how young people live today, feeling arh, and actually I don't like that at all. I don't exactly like living by feeling and in changing that, perhaps I have offended people. I've never been known as someone who offends other people, I really detest that, but the spate of events that have occured, I think I've made a few enemies. Which is super bad. I don't like making enemies.

Well, now I'm just kinda talking in circles and have no idea what my main point is anyway. Maybe I give up way too soon, but arhs, don't ask me wth I'm talking about, I've just changed subjects very quickly. Do try to get used to that. :p haahs.

Oh anyways. I don't know. Arhs, maybe it's my indifference that irritates them, so they end up getting more agitated? I really have no clue. Or maybe I do, but just refuse to see it? Idk. In a way, I'm afraid to put down that line too, coz I'm afraid of someone who will tell me. In such a harsh way I may not be able to take it. I mean, don't tell me when I'm in taiwan bahs - there'd be no one to support me and I may just end up getting fired on my internship and wandering the streets of taiwan coz I can't afford an air ticket to fly home. hahahahhas. Okay I'm JOKING. hahahahas.

On another note, yes I'm flying to taiwan. In a way I'm happy, in a way I'm not. I'm happy to get away from everything: that's just the cowardly way of saying yay I no need to care liaos. The other is of course that I am super apprehensive and I don't know how to deal. I guess I do need someone to talk to soon. And there's always mandy and that outing you promised! XING - where are you? You haven't been replying nor updating your blog? I'm gna contact you straight after exams, hope you're doing alright...Well, bit ashamed for that, gna make it all up to you.

I don't want to be what stupid leader and dno what leadership qualities although I do know leaders face these sort of problems all the time, I rather not - or maybe someone like'd to tell me otherwise.

But nonetheless, I'm currently watching this show which is a reality show - contestants are tied up to a lie detector and asked a series of super deep dark questions. If they are not completely honest, they won't get the money. So, yeah, well, I was about to say that it helps you face up to your issues till I realise that if you chose to say otherwise and hide the issue, the system will just generate that the answer is incorrect and the people you try to hide the issue from is just going to know that you mean otherwise anyway. SO, yeah, kinda pointless to hide, might as well just go all out, hurt all the people you know and win for yourself some cold hard cash. Now that's a thought. Or maybe not. What does this just say about humans? We're seriously just idiots who have so many secrets it catches up with us. I really just want to start anew - I sound like some criminal - but I really do, so I guess there's taiwan for that! hahas! How many people enter and leave your life each day and if you don't want them to leave, you have to let them know and hold on to them tightly, though sometimes they choose to leave and sometimes you choose to leave and sometimes time and distance just forces the rift. Well, enough about me. It's not all about me, me, me, me, me. I've since gone past that and realise that some people are still living in friendships of the most childish kind.But perhaps, it is those friendships which are the most valuable and should be the most protected, so that they never fade. I once wondered why my father did not have so many friends, but I realise that even those friends may not be the ones who he is really close with too. In the end, it is family who supports you the most and I would really like to thank my family for being there for me, though they don't know that. haahs. But anyways, perhaps it sounds like I've given up on friends, no I haven't don't worry. =) I don't want to sound like some self-centered bitch or whatever hypocrite, so I'm not going to say anything that makes me one. Even if it does not change the fact that I am one or whatever. That's just secondary. I guess in a way, ah lians and ah bengs are quite fortunate coz they just speak their minds and life is in a way, so MUCH easier, I'm sure they sleep very well since they don't have anything to worry about. HAHAHHAS. oh, except for gangfights. hahas. But anyways, it's kinda pointless to look back and wished you were still the same person you were even for some things you remenisce the past for, the point is that you're here and now, and how you mould your own future is what is left up for grabs. HAAHS.

MMMMMM, well enough of this talk. I think sometimes, people may say things that sound small and all, but I think at least the thought was there and I fully appreciate it. After all, the small things snowball into bigger things. =) I never fully and will never fully understand this something which I cannot and will not attempt to put into words. I guess, there's just too many things running through my mind: too many things bugging me: just so many things. But for now, I shall conclude this post, till next time. After all, problems are not for here and now only, otherwise we won't have a lifetime ahead of us. I'm just gna go study now. toodles everyone, till next time. Should be pretty damn soon. =)

xoxo, gossip girl. hahahahas. I miss that.

hmm. I'm getting kinda twitches in my eyelids. My left eyelid. Scientifically, it's because I'm stressed, which stressed I AM. Non scientifically, zuo ji you xiong, ie left is lucky, right is danger. But! This eyelid has been twitching for a few days now, so when's the lucky coming I rly have no clue.

Well, is it cause I have unresolved issues such that I've become so screwed with human relationships? Is it really me? But I suppose since it's happening to me in bouts yeah? Well, I'm trying to curb it all, really I am, because the issue is not with them, it's really with myself. I guess there's things to learn from shuzhen. I know, jasmine has issues? Now that's a first. Well, technically everyone has issues. So it's not uncommon. Thing is, how do you face these issues? The way you handle it is really what differentiates/changes you I suppose. It's actually pretty strange. Whenever I have been upsetting people lately, I'm really calm. That can mean a few things I've analysed: I have thought it through clearly, their accusations are false and so I'm not bothered, I know what I'm doing, I just cannot be bothered. I don't know, maybe you'd like to give me a few more rationales. hahas. Well, yeahs, maybe it's just a combination of reasons. I don't like to see too far, but they always say this is how young people live today, feeling arh, and actually I don't like that at all. I don't exactly like living by feeling and in changing that, perhaps I have offended people. I've never been known as someone who offends other people, I really detest that, but the spate of events that have occured, I think I've made a few enemies. Which is super bad. I don't like making enemies.

Well, now I'm just kinda talking in circles and have no idea what my main point is anyway. Maybe I give up way too soon, but arhs, don't ask me wth I'm talking about, I've just changed subjects very quickly. Do try to get used to that. :p haahs.

Oh anyways. I don't know. Arhs, maybe it's my indifference that irritates them, so they end up getting more agitated? I really have no clue. Or maybe I do, but just refuse to see it? Idk. In a way, I'm afraid to put down that line too, coz I'm afraid of someone who will tell me. In such a harsh way I may not be able to take it. I mean, don't tell me when I'm in taiwan bahs - there'd be no one to support me and I may just end up getting fired on my internship and wandering the streets of taiwan coz I can't afford an air ticket to fly home. hahahahhas. Okay I'm JOKING. hahahahas.

On another note, yes I'm flying to taiwan. In a way I'm happy, in a way I'm not. I'm happy to get away from everything: that's just the cowardly way of saying yay I no need to care liaos. The other is of course that I am super apprehensive and I don't know how to deal. I guess I do need someone to talk to soon. And there's always mandy and that outing you promised! XING - where are you? You haven't been replying nor updating your blog? I'm gna contact you straight after exams, hope you're doing alright...Well, bit ashamed for that, gna make it all up to you.

I don't want to be what stupid leader and dno what leadership qualities although I do know leaders face these sort of problems all the time, I rather not - or maybe someone like'd to tell me otherwise.

But nonetheless, I'm currently watching this show which is a reality show - contestants are tied up to a lie detector and asked a series of super deep dark questions. If they are not completely honest, they won't get the money. So, yeah, well, I was about to say that it helps you face up to your issues till I realise that if you chose to say otherwise and hide the issue, the system will just generate that the answer is incorrect and the people you try to hide the issue from is just going to know that you mean otherwise anyway. SO, yeah, kinda pointless to hide, might as well just go all out, hurt all the people you know and win for yourself some cold hard cash. Now that's a thought. Or maybe not. What does this just say about humans? We're seriously just idiots who have so many secrets it catches up with us. I really just want to start anew - I sound like some criminal - but I really do, so I guess there's taiwan for that! hahas! How many people enter and leave your life each day and if you don't want them to leave, you have to let them know and hold on to them tightly, though sometimes they choose to leave and sometimes you choose to leave and sometimes time and distance just forces the rift. Well, enough about me. It's not all about me, me, me, me, me. I've since gone past that and realise that some people are still living in friendships of the most childish kind.But perhaps, it is those friendships which are the most valuable and should be the most protected, so that they never fade. I once wondered why my father did not have so many friends, but I realise that even those friends may not be the ones who he is really close with too. In the end, it is family who supports you the most and I would really like to thank my family for being there for me, though they don't know that. haahs. But anyways, perhaps it sounds like I've given up on friends, no I haven't don't worry. =) I don't want to sound like some self-centered bitch or whatever hypocrite, so I'm not going to say anything that makes me one. Even if it does not change the fact that I am one or whatever. That's just secondary. I guess in a way, ah lians and ah bengs are quite fortunate coz they just speak their minds and life is in a way, so MUCH easier, I'm sure they sleep very well since they don't have anything to worry about. HAHAHHAS. oh, except for gangfights. hahas. But anyways, it's kinda pointless to look back and wished you were still the same person you were even for some things you remenisce the past for, the point is that you're here and now, and how you mould your own future is what is left up for grabs. HAAHS.

MMMMMM, well enough of this talk. I think sometimes, people may say things that sound small and all, but I think at least the thought was there and I fully appreciate it. After all, the small things snowball into bigger things. =) I never fully and will never fully understand this something which I cannot and will not attempt to put into words. I guess, there's just too many things running through my mind: too many things bugging me: just so many things. But for now, I shall conclude this post, till next time. After all, problems are not for here and now only, otherwise we won't have a lifetime ahead of us. I'm just gna go study now. toodles everyone, till next time. Should be pretty damn soon. =)

xoxo, gossip girl. hahahahas. I miss that.